Imposing highway patrolman Samson Balizan is a familiar face on bay area freeways. Drivers involuntarily slow down whenever they catch sight of his heavily modified (lots of chrome dog bones…) Chevy Caprice, form fitting CHP uniform, and comically large aviator glasses. Samson’s mere presence is so effective that he has never written a single traffic ticket. This gives Samson ample time to pursue the true calling of all lawmen; the care, maintenance, and beautification of all median strips with native flowers and garden gnomes.